It seems obvious that they don't realize that what they are saying upsets you. Maybe they just really wanted strawberries? Are you sure that had a direct hidden meaning to your diet? And if they don't want to move to Pennsylvania, then wouldn't that be best if you don't like spending time with them? They shouldn't have commented on the lawn unless they were offering to mow it lol. It sounds more like your personalities just aren't compatible. I don't think they're trying to be mean purposely.
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"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens
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