Dear dear Butterfli. Please do take special note of what 'Eskie' advices, she has a very experienced prospective on the issues of ED's and the hard times in life in general. I've been following your story closely and I'm relieved and delighted that everything you've been fighting for has come to fruitation at long last, all that extra anxiety you really diddnt need. Anyways, forget that and look to the future. Yes, it will be challenging going inpatient but it appears no other form of so called 'treatment' has gone nowhere. Yes, I agree with Eskielover, it's actually getting to the base of where the real issues began is the only breakthrough. I'm 56 and it's taken all these years, 32 actually, to realise my serious issues over food and body hatred derived from. I was indeed 'big' at school and was from about the age of 12, my whole family are on the big side naturally bout they are also a very 'foodie' family, almost to the degree of compulsive eating. Living to eat and not eating to live. The other kids at school really picked on me for being bigger than they were and called me horrible names. Back then I gave as good as I got and was only interested in getting out of school and going to work with my horses!! That was the basis of my anorexia/bulimia/binge starve and latterly very restrictive eating.
I so wish you well, pray for you and don't worry if you can't get on here in your early days at the U of I. Hugs and Love. Xxx
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