I know that feeling. It's like a skip in a record. You try to fill up the space as best as you can, but it always comes back around. The cycle is perpetual. It's overwhelming. You find yourself on a precipice, and its always just you. I spent so many years like that. The sad thing is, we live in a world with so many connection options, and yet, we all all seem disconnected. I found a reason to live in the oddest place. My husband brought home a turtle. He thought our cats would be amused, but it was sick and sad and alone... Just like I was. I called around, but no one could care for it so, with no experience, I learned to. Its eyes were swollen shut with infection, its she'll was coated in nail polish, it was mostly starved, and it has large beneath its skin. At first, I told myself I had to get up because there was no one to care for him but me. I struggled, but I managed. As the months passed, I found I sometimes forgot to remind myself that I had to get up for him. After a while, I stopped reminding myself at all. It was nice to be needed, but more so, there was this ancient animal in my house, they are prone to depression, anxiety, ocd's, stress, and one of the view animals that will commit suicide in the wild, and yet, they had survived, and so did I.