What about trying to patch up the relationship with the inlaws now, before you have the baby (or at least plugging the biggest holes)? It's possible that she's changed in the past 9 years... or that you have, and that you are stronger and more capable of shrugging off her bad behavior. It just seems like it would be less stressful to be on speaking terms with her.

Also, if you try and it doesn't work out, it gives you more credibility with your husband if you do need to put your foot down later on.