Hi everyone,
Some of you may know that I am currently going off my SSRI (Zoloft). It all started out well, but now it's just been a nightmare. I saw my Psychiatrist and after telling him I broke some dishes (by throwing them against the wall) he said to stay on 25mg (I was on 100mg) for now...I guess that wasn't a good thing (I think it's kind of funny actually).

I am sick of my mood. I am trying all the DBT things but it's been so bloody hard. It feels like a depression relapse even though I know it's too early. I have vacation coming up in a couple of weeks and I can't wait. I am drowning in stupid paper work at work and I feel like crap physically. I just want to feel calm. Not so bloody angry all the time. I want to get a good night's sleep and not be bloody tired all the time. I am sick of every little thing pissing me off so much. I just want to know when my stupid brain will adjust to the medication being lower. Or if it ever will.

Even as I write all this stuff my rational brain pops in and says "it is what it is" and stuff like that. I get pissed off because I freeze my *** off in my office at work because they crank the air conditioning so bloody high (and refuse to put a fan on...oh no they can't use a fan they have to have the office at 17c) and all I want to do is be outside in the summer heat...but then that rational little part of me says "stop it...you have to work-you can't be outside in the sun so don't whine about...life isn't always doing what you want".

Writing this is helping me to calm down. I just want to go home right now though. I don't want to have to talk to people and listen to their problems and try to find solutions for them. This is when I wish I had chosen a different career path-not one where I have to help people. At least I have my own office and write this without someone seeing (and I work lots of overtime so technically I am not wasting the tax payers money right now by writing this instead of working) ( I work for a government funded program). See I can still see the stupid bright side of things. Argh.