I'll try to not ramble on here. Anyway, for the past few months I had been in a pretty dark place. It was triggered by a very good (female) friend of mine moving back home, almost 1000 miles away. Long story short, I was extremely disconnected from my family and always on my phone waiting for texts from her. Some inappropriate texts and pictures were sent, which my wife ended up finding.

Luckily, she isn't the type of person to just throw away an almost 20 year relationship. We have been talking a lot this past week about things that we've never talked about before and I feel happier than I have for a very long time.

I just can't believe I almost threw my family away for someone who is technically young enough to be my daughter. I became the guy that I always said I would never be, because even though it wasn't physical, it WAS an affair.

Hopefully this new line of communication between my wife and myself will remain open, because I don't want to go back to "that place". I don't think I could survive it again and I know our relationship wouldn't make it. But, I'm dedicated to it and will make it work.