Dear Pink, I can relate to your feelings of helplessness/hopelessness. I was raised in a similar way. My mother was very anxious and depressed and we were also often beaten for upsetting her. At 16 I tried taking my own life i regretted what i did and told my older sister. She called the doctor to see how to help me but I was never taken to a doctor or psychologist for my depression. I grew up learning to keep secrets and pain concealed. This is not a good feeling. Luckily I hung in there and went to University. I have a great career, married,children and I am still enjoying life. I still suffer with depression but I am not ashamed of it and know when to get and give help. My daughter was diagnosed with depression at 16. I was able to give her the support I never received and she also is in University and enjoying life. What I'm trying to say is I am sorry for your current situation. You seem bright and intelligent and have something to look forward to in the way of goals. What worked for me is surrounding myself with positive people and friends. When I went to university my life changed for the better. Always remember that although things seem bleak now it is bound to get better. Try to be close to your sister and help each other. My younger sister was my confidant. I wish you much happiness and success in your future. In my country you do not need parental consent to see a psychologist or therapist. Never be ashamed of how you feel and keep asking for the support you deserve!