You certainly have your hands full. It's a shame you didn't listen to your mother.

I got myself into a similar situation and it is still bad. My husband has not changed in anyway regarding his enabling both of his children and their mother. Both girls are grown now but far from independent.

I'm sorry to be negative but I don't see things getting any better for a while but I wish you luck if you continue to want to try. I stayed now for 17 years but wish I had bailed years ago when there was still hope of me having some control over my life. Now I'm bitter and lonely.