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Originally Posted by A Red Panda
You need an open conversation while he's baseline. Where expectations get set, so that both of your needs can be met.
It is indeed possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has bipolar, or any other mental health issue. It will sometimes require more work than other relationships might require.... but it's most certainly possible.
It sounds like you have opposite needs. Have the two of you ever talked about having a family? Because that would be a big thing for him - he cannot handle his depressions by ignoring the world if he has children in his life. Ignoring the world completely is not a healthy coping skill, and yes, that should probably be worked on by him!
That said... you can't make him change, and if he can't or isn't willing to make any changes right now then it's your call whether or not to stay and put up with it, or cut your losses and move on.
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I know I cant change him. I was just hoping he would realize and try to make changes himself. If its even to talk a bit about his feelings. Or what's going on in his mind. It hard to be empathetic when a person is just straight absent. He just doesnt talk at all.
Thanks for the encouragement. I hope he is willing to improve, sometimes I just feel like he is comforted by his routine, no need to change really. I am afraid to discover later, having invested years, that he just doesnt want to change.
In the past, he has expressed his desire for me to love him just the way he is... idk if that is even reasonable. not that there is anything wrong with it major but this is just one of the few things and makes our relationship seem unsustainable. Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe I need to much. Maybe its best I just move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by l00king4answers79
Well it seems you've made up your mind then.
It's hard to date with mental disorders, and if it's too much for you, you need to look out for yourself. Better to end it sooner rather than later.
That's just my opinion though.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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I dont think its too mucih, its too little. Way too little. I'm feel single but I'm not. I haven't really made up my mind, I think we would need a real down to earth discussion before that. I dont really want to give up on him, I dont think that will help much. But this is unbearable now and would put me in a rage if we were married or had a family.