<font color="#000088">I'm so sorry you're feeling so miserable right now, and so afraid at the same time, it's no wonder you're feeling numb. I've felt the same way before, when you feel that your whole life is crumbling underneath your feet, and you think that there is nothing you can do about it, but watch your life get flipped upside down. It makes you just want to end it all.
But there is something you can do about it, you can talk to someone, like your Therapist, and tell him/her how you feel, and ask for help. Tell them exactly how you are feeling so they can help you, if you are'nt completely honest with them about how you feel, then they won't know what to do to help you. I know how scary it is worrying about losing your income,and not knowing how you're going to pay the bills,because that's your stability, your home,and safety nest,you know? And the fear of losing that can be terrifying, but there are programs that can help you with your bills,if something like that were to happen,and your Therapist should be able to help you incase something happens.

But don't just give up! Fight the fight! I think you can beat this! I started cutting when I was about 9-10 years old,and now I've made it 7 years without cutting,because even when times got rough,and my life did get flipped upside down in 2005 and I lost my home,and my car,and my Dad, but I still kept fighting,and now I have a home again, no car, and ofcourse my Dad's still gone.But I didn't give up, and things turned out in the end. I became a survivor,and so can you! I believe in you! </font>