Hello.

I hope it is OK to post this here.

I don't really have an eating disorder in the traditional sense, but I wanted to ask some questions if that is OK?

Lately, I don't feel like I deserve to eat. It is not because of my weight or my appearance (although I really am an unattractive, overweight middle age male), but the reason I don't want to eat is because of guilt. After some of the things I did as a result of a breakdown last year, I don't feel I am worthy of food any longer.

Food still sounds appealing, but when it comes time to fix it, I just don't. My body is easily quieted by smoking too. After smoking for a few minutes, the appetite goes away, and I continue on.

The thing is, if I listen to my body, I KNOW I am starving. I know that lack of eating is causing my mood disorder to get worse, and it also makes it harder to function at work.

I need to talk to my therapist about this, but I don't see her until the end of the month, so I could use some advice.

Thank you

Killian