I, too, have felt alone/never alone. Also spent time feeling that I don't fit in, that i have no purpose, and that maybe I should simply cease to be. Here's what I've learned: Things change. Even if I have thought about every possible scenario and am convinced there is no way anything could possibly be better, somehow something happens. I began to realize that I can only think of what is in my mind. Fortunately others have different stuff in their minds. And their perspective can enlarge mine. Even if I don't do anything, "something happens." Trust. Things will change.