Hi rob,
If/when things are real tough for you.........one thing to fall back on is.......a day posting on here reaching for understanding/support
isn't a day wasted

And your life...........well peoples definitions of wasted can be
wildly different............so maybe worth kind of re-evaluating what might have been/is/could be significant/meaningful, looking at it from different angles/perspectives???
But either way, if you want to talk.............
And for now............best of wishes for tomorrow, hope it goes well.
Alison