This is about an incredible journey I made recently, from death to life, and then quickly back to death.

Three months ago, I quit my longtime job due to intense harassment by my manager and HR siding with my manager. It turned out to be a life changing decision, one of the best I'd ever made. I felt liberated and ready to head in a new direction. After years of feeling dead, I felt the beginning of a new life.

It took a lot of courage to admit to myself that my biggest problem was always the fact that I was alone and lonely. I decided to try online dating again.

I met someone, almost on the first attempt, whom I was convinced was my future wife ! On our first date, we spent 7 hours together, and almost 12 hours on our second date. We both had engineering backgrounds, were both fitness junkies in good shape, the same age, with the same cultural background, and pretty much the same exact views on life. After about 18 years convinced I must die, for a few days, I actually convinced myself that I now need to live. I started to think about putting my life back together - job, finances, moving closer to her, etc.

We texted all day, everyday, despite the fact that we both hate texting with a passion. We'd talk about working out together, spooning and watching movies together at my place (which never happened !), how much we wanted to kiss and hold each other, and laying down on the beach together, under a warm beach blanket (which we did, more than once !). We even shared our more intimate fantasies It was really sweet and really great ! We never got bored of talking to each other everyday. We accepted each other for who we were.

When we walked together out in public, holding hands, people would stare at us coz we were a hot looking couple ! Both 6 feet tall, and in exceptionally good shape, haha ! Yes, we had that in common too

There was one big difference between us, though - she is emotionally stone cold and her heart is closed, while I'm exceptionally warm and my heart wide open to someone I like the slightest bit. Anyway, it ended over a stupid misunderstanding over the phone, three days ago.

I'm back to being dead again. But, I'm proud of myself, because, despite my certain knowledge that I was going to fail again, I tried. I lost miserably, but I tried hard this time ... I even gave up thoughts of dying for a bit. If you know me at all, that is almost unbelievable. It takes a LOT to convince me to live.

Sorry, I don't know what the meaning of this post is, except to share with you my fortunes, or misfortunes. Hope, if nothing else, that it entertained you.