Hey I'm junior and have just found out acoa I have also been diagnosed as bipolar. I can always remember my dad drinking and getting mad. He used to break stuff in our house in his drunken rage. I guess I was lucky to have my mom because she was sober but I still feel the pain of my fathers actions. It's taken me a long time to express my emotions because I too became an alcoholic. I regret many things in my life and until I have sought out treatment for my addiction problems I felt alone in a cold world. I am 25 now and I have been hospitalized numerous times. I had a psychotic breakdown three years ago majorly caused by my lack of expression. I haven't looked at the inside of me in many years. I have had major relationship issues which kills me because one of my biggest goals is to have a family of my own. I lack communication skills and I also try not to make waves seeing that I hate confrontation I have been an addict for over 8 years starting with alcohol then when that wasn't enough I added pot that wasn't enough so I added cocaine the ketamine all in search of feeling better. I don't hate my father for his anger and lack of love for me. I live with my parents still and am still afraid of him. He has calmed down tremendously but I. Haven't gotten over the past yet. I guess I'm just asking for help because it's been so long that I've held all of this in