Thanks for replying. I don't know I know when I was getting ready for a court battle about custody - I briefly touched on the topic with what is wrong with me but I was in such a panic about it I could really talk about it. T did say I was PTSD and metioned something about Dependant and Avoident personality disorder, but I could stay focused nor can I bring it up again. I really want to know. I have a lot of funky things that happen but I couldn't ever tell T about them. I don't want him to think I am crazy. Although he tells me that I am not crazy all the time - my ex husband and a few family members like to make sure that I know that I am crazy. But I am scared and confused. I don't know what I am looking for I just feel so disconnected - I keep trying to reach things but I can't. There is always this huge battle going on in my head. It is like WW III in there. Some days I feel like I am 5 and others I feel like I am in control. Does that make sense?? I know what I am trying to say but don't know how to say it. Don't know where to post or who to ask? Just want to make it all go away.