<font color="red"> might be some TRIGGERS in here....SI mentioned!!!! </font>

help...

so i went to my therapy session - yeah me!!

the therapist was nice - she was kinda like a friend's mom back when you were a kid? that was kinda the feel i got. she's WAY to laid back for me though. and i hated the office building - it's a concrete block building facing a busy street - which is not comforting when leaving. the rooms are TINY like a bunch of walk in closets and cluttered!

but i did go! and i talked!

i only talked about the situation at work of course... unfortunately she completely agrees with my assesment of the situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my boss is an agressive lunatic!!

ok so on the one hand it was nice hearing her understand my explaination of the situation (yeah me good explaining) and it was nice to have someone understand and tell me that my boss is way to aggressive, etc.

HOWEVER, her ideas for me were to (1) look around for another job, which of course could take months if not years (2) learn to be more assertive.

Well crap - I came up with all that on my own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was hoping (kinda) to have my eyes opened to a new way of looking at the situation....

she gave me a pamphlet worksheet thingy on assertiveness and made another appt in two weeks

so here i am....back at home....

what do i do?? since the work situation has thrown me back into a therapists office my anxiety is through the roof!! before my appt i scratched the heck outta my stomach...in the past two weeks scratched my arm six times, cut with a razor twice and burned my other arm. i wasn't doing this stuff (definitely not to this extent) in over a decade!!!!!

the odd thing is right at this second i don't FEEL that bad? i don't know if i'm in a crisis or not???? i don't know if i should go to my regular doctor and show him SI? or would i just be doing that so i wouldn't have to go to work and deal with that abusive situation!!???!!!

i dont think i'd do anything that would really harm me? i mean i really don't think i would.

what's going on?? any body have any advice??? i don't know what's going on???