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Make sure your Pdoc understands your concerns about the weight gain, as it has a large bearing on your own self worth, which in turn makes the depression worse and can lead to a whole lot of other problems that you then have to deal with.
It's good that you are going to get back and considering meds again. Sometimes as much as we hate to admit it to ourselves, it's the only option. Doesn't mean your going to be on them forever, but for now they may well be necessary. The desire for another child, that maybe a symptom of the way you are feeling about yourself, and your desire to be needed, wanted and appreciated in a way only a mother can feel. Just a thought.
Not knowing what to do. Write down what you don't like about your life. Then write down what things you have control of and what you don't. That may help you come up with a plan, and having a plan helps you feel like you are back in control to a certain extent, rather than feeling like you are spiraling out of control...
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