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Originally Posted by Claire2015
Thank you so much for that i think maybe she is in denial or embarrassed to be 'labelled' with ADD so it might be easier for her to say she's outgrown it. It is easy to think that especially as you say with everyone who up until 10/20 years ago it was believed ADHD was a childhood disorder.
I am glad you're channelling your mind to the best of your ability, being active is healthy for everyone so it's good you manage it well unlike my friend who is subconsciously ruining her life. I'm trying to stop her hitting rock bottom....again... Because last time she had suicidal thoughts and it worried me greatly.
I like to think my head is pretty screwed on but as you say we're only 18 and got A LOT more to learn. She is a bit naive and thinks that having less friends will cause less drama so she can focus on her boyfriend.... Until her attention shifts again. She runs her relationships into the ground where she doesn't like them before she goes into a relationship but will change her mind the next minute and hyperfocus on them.
I'm trying to explain to her that this is where it all goes wrong for her as she neglects everything else. When she ends a relationship thats when reality hits her and she likes talking to me again.
I think you're doing brilliantly, yeah you may not be able to focus on uninteresting things but you gotta remember that, that is you so don't change yourself just to fit in with boring 'normal' people whatever normal is.
I agree there is only so much you can do for someone that won't help themselves so maybe she has to hit rock bottom in order to have a wake up call to treat/manage her ADD.
I suspect she has borderline personality disorder too as she has a lot of the symptoms and it could be a comorbid of her ADD. I don't know though i'm not here to judge or diagnose but it could explain her desire to always be talking to someone on the phone. Which could explain the intense relationship issue.
Thank you so much again 
I appreciate it
Claire |
There is a stigma that goes with having something like ADD, however, you can't control what other people think. People can be very shallow, ignorant judgmental and narrow minded. I think many parents are more concerned about what their circle of friends might think if of them if they had a child with ADD. I'm only 53 but in my parents generation and before you never talked about going to therapy and you never talked about your feelings. Back then if you acted differently you were considered "feeble minded" a moron. You were put in an asylum. Society was very cruel to people who were "different". In some cultures, even today, having a child with some form of disability, physically or mentally , brought shame on the family or it was a sign of the devil. The child was discarded, sent to an orphanage and disowned. Peoples religious beliefs have a lot to do with dealing with mental issues.
What your friend will at some point realize is that having ADD and making an effort to control it won't be as much as an issue as having it and not doing anything about it. People will judge her for her actions. One thing I notice about people your age, and I was there at one time, is that you worry way to much about what other people think of you, nothing wrong about making a good impression but kids try to hard to fit in an be accepted. I notice it more with girls especially when a guy is involved. Social Media is no help. In fact Facebook has had nothing but a negative effect on society, all it has done is make billionaires out of it's investors. People need to realize that your posts, pictures will never go away.
Today there are options to treat ADD unlike when I was a kid, your friend is at an age where she can make her own choice and her decisions will either lead her to failures or success. Unfortunately, a young kid doesn't have that option, no voice, he/she is at the mercy of their parents. Somebody in your friends family saw something that led them to get her tested, now she knows the reason for some of her behavior, but knowing and ignoring it is only going to make her life more and more difficult and for those around her. There are several books about ADD in women written by women who have it. Maybe it might be a good idea to either give a copy to her mother to pass on to your friend or leave for your friend for her to find, not telling her that it was from you and walk away for a bit. Her boyfriend maybe playing a big part in her behavior and their isn't much you can do. She'll learn the hardway. As I said I work at a college, and I found out very quickly that the study they did that said girls mature much quicker than guys was very true. Young guys today have absolutely no respect for women, they are basically @$$h0le$. When I was at that age we never treated women the way they do today.