I'm sorry that this is so difficult for you right now.

There's an awful lot going on .....

And a whole lot of factors both environmentally and also your diagnosis are combining to create a rather uncomfortable place for your headspace (or anyone's, for that matter), to be in right now.

Hopefully with some professional support you might be able to begin addressing each of these issues in order to unpack and make some sense of it

[You know what they say about how you eat an elephant ... piece by piece ...]

May you find some comfort soon!