it's ok to miss your dad, even tremendously, but please don't let it be something that stops you from moving forward. Keep in mind a dad's job and goal primarily is to teach his kids to be independent and self sufficient so this is what he would want you to do for yourself. Work on that with the memory of him in your heart and mind... and know he would be proud of you for getting on your feet yourself don't let the fact he is not there to stop you.