Thanks Mandy and Cheri,
Thanks for these answers. I will tell you all I can in this space, but I've read several chapters so, couldnt regurgitate it all.
But, one important thing that I believe is that what needs to happen is that we start taking it out of the T.s hands and into our own. Not irresponsibly, but in this sense, its our expereince that matters and how we seek to heal. The Ts have done great work and it is through them that I have gained this understanding of myself.

iiiiin AA, like how the alcoholics have recovered from near fatal encounters with booze, they say 'you're an alcoholic if you say you are', they identify by the experience and the desire to get well, and it seems to work for them.

My comp is siezing up and gets stuck so I'll stop and post this.

These Ts talk about 'intrapsychic structure', and as I understand this, its the underlying inlaid emotional response to self and others (the way of relating), that is the common identifying factor. So, wether one is a bit left of centre, a bit more this or less that, is not so important, theres some specific underlying factors, even though the behaviour can be varied.
And that is what I think is useful for healing, this common understanding, (the comp freed itself up again). I'll try to get some help with my comp, and say some more later if you'd like.

I'd love to talk more about all those difficulties with relationships, which, of course, I also have, but maybe leave it till next time.
Wanted to put some smileys in, but I cant do it!! I'm technically challenged frequently!!
warm regards,
River.x