I don't feel passionate about doing anything else, so I don't know what I would do if/when I drop this program. I would probably do nothing.

It's not her fault she triggers me- my cousin I mean. We were both molested by her older brother.

On one hand I can't emotionally tolerate bring around her bc it stirs up too much in me, too many memories I work very hard to suppress.

But on the other hand I feel terrible about my cowardly desire to cut her off and save myself. She hasn't done anything wrong, she's as much a victim as I was, if not more so.

--I did end up talking to my professor/program chair. I had decided not to tell her anything but I went to the apt anyway, and when she asked what I wanted to talk about I said nothing, that I had changed my mind.

And we talked about other stuff instead and then she asked again what I wanted to tell her and again I said I changed my mind but somehow over the span of the hour she got it out of me, and in hindsight I'm really not sure how. She's very sneaky, lol.

I like her very much but I won't see her again outside class bc she inspires diarrhea of the mouth, she just makes me want to tell her things.

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