I am so sorry you are having such a rough week. Most of us have been right where you are now. I know it seems like there is no way it can get better but it can. Please don't worry about the stupid doctor now, try to get some help from your friend, If only for him to tell you that you mean something to him. Please keep posting here, we really do want you to keep us updated, we do care. You do mean something to us, even if we have never met, we can relate. I wish you well.