Hey Elin, I actually went through a very similar experience as you when I was your age. I now know that I went through some maternal transference with a teacher who was amazinglyl supportive during my high school years. It was devasting to graduate and I kept in touch with her through email and return visits. I felt the same way, how was I going to continue life without her. At the time she was the only adult that could see my hidden pain and took the time to care and listen. BUT, eventually as time passed it got easier to not have her in my life. I found different support lines like therapy and friends and I grew wiser as aging brings. Your teenage years are truly the hardest and most confusing time of your life. I still have struggles but not nearly as intense as my teenage years. You will get over it, I promise and you will come to remember her in the most respectful and appreciative way.