Thank you for all your replies. I think I'm getting to the bottom of this problem.

For examples: I'll ask someone a question, and they'll just continue staring forward as though I didn't. I try asking them again, and they continue to stare away from me. I wonder if they just didn't hear me, but someone else will come up and talk and they'll answer them. Sometimes people I don't know except for their name will say something hurtful about me, almost always to a large group, as though there's some unspoken general dislike for me carried in each others' attitudes towards me. I don't have any close friends, although I'm not home bound, and I admit that I'm lonely, if that means something. Sometimes I'll just walk up and talk to someone I've barely been acquainted with, and they'll just stare at me angrily and give short, cold answers to what I say. It's just that I seem to be treated so differently than how everyone else is treated. I'll meet someone and they'll seem not very happy or pleased, but then they'll talk to someone else who they also don't know and suddenly they look so happy. I remember once going to buy something and the person at the counter went from happy to a frown the moment they saw me, even though they've never met me before. To tell the truth, no one has ever told me this in real life, but I think I have this "shell-shocked" look and act about me, even when I'm smiling. I can sense it coming from myself. I try so hard to not be nervous, and still push myself to go out and talk to people, so it appears in places I don't notice, I think.

Thank you IceCreamKid. I've heard people tell me quite a lot in the past that I'd be easy to walk all over because I act "gentle." It is really hard for me to be assertive. I'll try thinking happier thoughts in those situations.

About how I feel about myself and how I feel about others, I can say it's easy to admit that I think I'm lesser than other people, but I still like myself, if that makes any sense. I've grown so comfortable to seeing myself as a wholly different creature to everyone else that it doesn't seem to upset me anymore. Well, it's easy to understand why I don't think I'm as good as everyone else. I was bullied for many years from many different people, and my parents were distant and aggressive. I don't think I've ever had closure from that, and I'm not sure I ever could. I feel like I'm not worth other people's time, and I don't even have a right to say no or expect anything from anyone. I just say no and tell people what I want so I don't weird anyone out or don't get taken advantage of.

I agree that I don't let people befriend me easily. I feel so uncomfortable when people do try to befriend me. I'm worried they're just trying to find ways to attack me later on, which I've experienced before, or that they'll not like me. I don't push them away, but I stall because I don't know how to bring them closer. I've never had many friends before, to be honest.

I really shouldn't focus so much on needing friends or people liking me. I think the fact that I focus on it highlights other issues I probably need to deal with, so thank you for bringing this up.

I do need to stop being a doormat, and it's tricky because I see that as my main use. I think my past has caused me to not see myself as important, but only as important as how I can be useful to other people. It's probably pretty messed up to an outside observer.

Thank you all again.