DPS, would like to think you have had or still work with a T.
The child isn't at fault, the adults/environment is what shaped you & stole your childhood.
Even if you gave you life as a child to save your siblings. They apparently would have suffered the same fate. So, being there as a child, you were no match for the actions of adults. You did nothing to deserve what transpired.
Maybe with time & effort you'll realize there's nothing you could have done to protect yourself & siblings. Not physically & certainly not able to process this at such a young age. You did your best. That's all you can ask of yourself.
I pray the constant noise in your head & the nightmares you experience will ease & you can get relief/sleep. Please don't give up. If you have tools, keep trying to use them. Easier said than done I know.
Just know you've been heard & acknowledged.
Take care of yourself.
(((gentle hugs)))