The wanting to drink /drug had lessened. I told T that it is like I need to swallow something so bad. I feel so hungry for something.
T said, you are feeling the feelings now. But when you were left for hours withiut being fed that's what it would have felt like. You've already lived through it you do now have people that matter in your life.
I said when I left last week I was driving when suddenly the thought that it's not the whole world that experienced hunger as a baby, it's me. That feeling is mine. For a second that thought /feeling felt manageable.
T said it must have been to big to 'hold' that feeling.
T said it will never completely go away. Those moments of desperately wanting something. But it's not the only 'go to' feeling now.