Quote:
Originally Posted by CBDMeditator
Me and you both. It seems this forum is no stranger to rough childhoods. A lot of people are surprised to learn I ran with gangs in high school. We were bullied until we became the bullies. I guess that's how it works everywhere (the other option is you shrink and fade away). I was jumped several times, until finally getting punched became something like a dog you kick too much. Eventually it's going to bite back.
Fortunately those days are behind me. Education, and rampant intellectualism became my coping mechanism. For its failures, I'm glad for having gone through it. Higher education tends to smooth the rough edges, but you never know when you may need a little sand in your character.
I'm equally as terrified about the dying alone thing. I don't think this fear is unique to a few guys with narcissistic coping mechanisms, however. I think this one is high on everyone's list. But it's good you're attentive to the behaviors of your parents, making notes to be sure not to repeat. I'm very similar with my adoptive father. He couldn't be more borderline if you put him in Seth Brundel's flay machine with Courtney Love.
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm glad you're on board here too. I've seen several of your responses to forum newcomers in the past few days. It seems like it's been pretty inactive in this section. Maybe we need to start advertising that we're looking for more narcissists. 
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Yes, I'm not surprised that you had a rough childhood as well. Seems to come with the territory around here with the few Narcissists that post. Like you, I got bullied until I became a bully myself.
I'm not a guy, though I have to say I've always preferred men as friends. Most other women I've wasted my time on tend to be borderlines, they cling to me and I hate that(I think that smothering thing that BPD people do causes me to think my sense of self is being threatened, to be all analytical about it, ha ha ha). My parents are interesting creatures. My mother is either a sociopath or a psychopath, I'm not entirely sure which because I do see those two words as meaning two similar yet different things. She doesn't really have friends, but she likes it that way. I prefer quality over quantity like she does.
It's always nice to see a new face here who actually talks about things that are of substance.
This forum is so inactive it's a bit crazy, Underground and myself are usually the only ones who post here who actually have NPD. Now you, so that makes three of us. Heh.
Most Narcissists aren't self-aware. And yes, my being self-aware totally feeds my ego. Hah!!!