I have extreme, intense emotions very frequently. All the healthy coping skills I've learned over the years go out the window when I am feeling so strongly.

I have no control over myself, and I've got to hold it together for the sake of my family. I can't always excuse myself to go cry, and I hate that it happens at the drop of a hat, any perceived slight, and the tears overflow and I feel sick and ashamed, especially afterward.

"Just put on a smile and fake being happy," I'm told. I try to do that for the sake of everyone else around me, but sometimes that's not possible for me.

I hate being such an emotional person. I truly am a wreck and an embarrassment to my family and myself.

I scream and rage and sob and throw things and slam doors and stomp like a child. Everywhere I've lived, the neighbors hear and witness me freaking out. At the time, I don't care who knows, but then after I will be so ashamed.

But I'm mostly concerned for those living with me. Throughout my life, I have become a walking, ticking time bomb. Something will set me off; a memory, an imagined or real insult, an injustice, really anything, and then the emotions need a release and I
become hysterical in the process.

I'm scared of myself. Scared I'm going to lose everything if I don't get a handle on this.

Any suggestions on how to hold back emotions in situations where it's not appropriate to release them? Or can anyone relate?