Hi I’m Nick and I have Mental Illness troubles. So my story is pretty typical, moved around a lot as kid, bullied in school, had a hard time making friends. I was kind of shy and terrible at social skills growing up. I’m now thinking it’s possible that I have high functioning Asperger’s or Non-Verbal Learning disability, I have many of the symptoms of both and I think that that is what lead to my eventual Anxiety disorder and Major depression I had in college. This is going to sound really weird but until college I had never once thought about my, or anyone else’s posture or body language and could never read peoples facial expressions and was super sensitive and took things personal easily. So when I was 17 my mom took me to a shrink he put on Effexor and was doing okay. Not to too my own horn but I was a smart kid, I had cumulative 3.98 GPA in HS and was 13th out of 220 with the first seven all having 4.0s so I was almost valedictorian and was had a job since I was 15 and was doing great at all the jobs I had. In college I got into partying and smoking marijuana, at the time I was taking Lexapro(they took me off Effexor because I had super bad brain zaps when I forgot to take it and didn’t like it, looking back I wish I would have stayed on it. So then I had a total major depressive breakdown in college living in the dorm and hardly ever left my dorm room and hated too. I didn’t want to do anything I was super super depressed and paranoid and thought everyone thought I was a druggie because I was high a lot and my back started to hurt really bad and I knew something was wrong so I called my Pdoc and he upped the Lexapro and tried adding ablilify, which I quickly found out that I’m allergic too. So barely made it through that semester and then was okay for a while then the next semester in college is when it all fell apart and s*** got really bad. I started experimenting with hallucinogenic drugs like DMT and tried acid once, which I think really lead to some of my paranoid and anxiety symptoms. So long story short spent I have spent the last 5 years trying to get out of this depression have been to 3 different psychiatrists and 5 different therapists. My depression was so bad that I had to be sent to the psych ward twice in one month and that was when my psychiatrist told me I had to get on disability and have been for 5 years. Drugs I’ve tried Zoloft, Geodon, remeron, amitriptyline, Ativan, lorazepam, busipirone, Selegeline, Latuda, invega, and others I can’t remember.

Now, I’m currently taking
Nardil (been on Nardil for 8 months) 60 mg a day
Valium 5 mg three times a day
Lamotrigine not sure dosage just started
DHA twice a day
Niacin
Multivitamin

I also just had a SPECT scan done and my Psychiatrist (if any of you just so happen around Springfield, MO Psychiatrists name is Dr. Insaf)
I have the “ring of fire pattern” of activity and an overactive anterior cingulate gyrus and problems in the temporal lobes (I will explain more on that when I know more)

Now here’s the interesting part, I was diagnosed with Anxiety and depression in 2010, in 2014 Dr. Insaf diagnosed me with Atypical depression because I’m so sensitive and Anxiety. So I asked him if the Nardil is supposed to help my anxiety, which it really wasn’t that much, why is my brain still so overactive. Do you know what he says to me, he says “Oh the Nardil is just for depression” I’m like WTF?????? Seriously? So after the scan he put me on the Valium. Now the report from said that I has increase of perfusion throughout the Cerebral Hemispheres and that the pattern of diffuse peripheral cortical increase (ring of fire pattern) associated with both schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. And here’s the kicker it said and I quote “there was no evidence of a primary anxiety disorder”.

So what do you guys think?