I'm sorry you're going through a tough time As Sidestepper said, depression is sneaky and selfish. It is such an incredibly hard place to be in. I can understand your husbands frustration because I'm assuming it's coming from a place of fear and love. My mom tried to end her life and I was angry and sad and hurt. If she had succeeded a part of me would have died and it would have changed my life forever- and not in a good way. I'm thankful every single day that by some miracle she survived.

But I can also understand the mind frame you're in. In my deepest depression I have had the same thoughts you have. They are insidious and are always lurking in the back of your mind. Depression and those type of thoughts aren't logical. They don't stop to consider other people because all you know is your pain. For people who haven't had these issues, I truly believe they can't understand what it's like. It's a dark place and you shouldn't be getting a guilt trip from your husband because that isn't going to help.

I hope you're getting the help you need and I hope you feel better.