OMG, you bring up a good, good point.

I often feel that my pdoc thinks I am making up my issues even tho I explained to him that I have delt with the ghost since childhood. The other things are somewhat new, but nevertheless very real to me. I didn't learn about simple partial seizures until I had the symptoms and couldn't describe them to my neuro doc, so I don't know if my events are seizure or schizoeffective? What bothers me is that they didn't believe me because I had such a hard time describing the melting, the inner earthquake, the color shapes, the smell of lavendar and amonia, the earth swallowing me and the many other sensations, feeling etc...

I left my first neurodoc and pdoc. Though they prescribed meds, I always thought they were placebo's because the events never stopped, it took some time to find a neuro and pdoc to take time to really listen to me. I don't have that many episodes with new meds combination, except for the ghost, and sometimes I actually feel fine.

I totally get what you are saying regarding those that take on symptoms than actually have them, I don't remember the medical term for this condition, something proxy?

You make a good point, and I believe some people do this, who knows why, for the drugs, attention? but for those like myself that actually experience this crap and struggle with getting help, heaven help us.

I will say this, after taking a neuro-cognitive test (which I know I passed with flying colors but still waiting on results) the neur-psychiatrist told me that the events that I am experiencing to include the depression is a direct result from my brain surgery. Finally confirmation, but still I question if she told me the truth (paranoia) I don't believe or trust anyone. Was she just pacifing me? I'll never know, guess I will have to wait and see what treatment change, if any, they will do.

I forgot to mention, even my husband has a hard time believing what I describe that happens to me...so where does that leave me? What should I do with the crap that does happen to me, be it the same as other's or different things that seem totally impossible? I often ask to myself....did that just really happen or am I trippin. It leaves me helpless and hopeless....suicidal in fact. It's like why bother