You owe it to yourself, and your friend to say something here. It would be such a great diservice to you and to her not to. The things she said to you were hurtful and the longer you hold your feelings inside, the more the chance they will explode in an unhealthy way.

I know you don't want to hurt your friend, expecially one of 30 years. And there will never be a right time to talk to her. But a friendship that's lasted as long as yours has I think can weather some honesty. Just say what you have to say firmly, but with kindness and honesty.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck.

Greg