Thank you for your insights, eskilover. I sort of think your ex-husband doesn't sound like a nice person since he had an "attitude issue." He sounds kind of passive aggressive to me, from what you wrote here. I think we're all smart in only some areas, so that wouldn't be a good reason to think they're smarter than everyone else. I don't really understand, did he really think he was smarter, or did the strange way he acted convey that message? Laughing at your own joke sounds a little strange. Was it his social ineptitude, or was he being self-centered? I have to admit that I think most people do something kind because it's the right thing to do, rather than because they really want to help. Some people don't help at all. Some people, though, do help because they really care. I'm sorry if he really did have asperger's syndrome, and it sounds like it was difficult to deal with. I've read other stories on this forum of spouses and girlfriends/boyfriends of those with aspergers syndrome, and how hard it is. If that was the case, he may not have been rude or mean because he was being belligerent, but because he couldn't understand or help it, but I understand it's not my place to say.

By the way eskielover, do you see some comparison between me and your ex-husband, or are you mentioning this as possible explanations? If you do see some comparisons, please let me know. I'm anonymous on here, so I'll try to not take it personally, and it would help me to understand and resolve or live with the issues I'm having.

In comparing this to myself, I think I personally waver between helping others because I want to make things better for them, and sometimes because its the right thing to do. I also am in my own little world, but I don't seem to have the social difficulties you listed that your ex-husband had. For example, I never would interject in the middle of an ongoing discussion a random statement like the weather. I have a pretty good feel for conversations, and I feel I'm usually automatically pulled out of them through subtle direction changes. People say I'm perceptive about other people, and I'm mentioning what other people say about me rather than myself to avoid misjudging my actions.

I've actually taken some Aspergers tests online, and after those and reading through the symptoms, I just don't fit. I don't have any strong interests in certain things since childhood, my interests vary, my talents are more diverse than centered around a few particular things, sometimes I can actually carry on a good conversation if it's with the "right" person for some reason, and I have no problems with eye contact and reading facial expressions. I do fit certain things, like being a picky eater and being socially awkward, but I know there are many other things that cause social awkwardness. I wouldn't be surprised if I have a mental disorder causing my issues, and I do think I suffer from some paranoia, although not very illogical or debilitating.

You did bring something to mind. People have told me that I talk like I'm very smart, or like I make them feel stupid. I'm not happy with this, and some people are okay with it, but I'm sure there are as just as many people who aren't. I talk in a stilted, strange manner that sounds like I'm trying to speak "intelligently," and I'm very logical, not because I'm trying to be smart, but because I hold on to my logic as a way to keep me calm and not get scared of the unknown. Some people I've met who act in this way I do were very different from me, and acted the way I do for different reasons, usually as an effort to be assertive or seem intelligent. I started becoming very logical during a period when a family member was abusing me almost daily for about five years straight. I felt very lonely, and shut out my feelings. I've never been the same since, and I was already unusual before that happened. That's just an explanation, and people who meet me don't already know anything about me. They see someone being strictly logical, and it probably comes off pretentious. I haven't thought about that for a while, since acting that way comes naturally to me.

I really hope I can find the reason for people see me so strangely. I think I'll try therapy again. I think the root of the problem is being "weird," as I've been called, but only if it was more specific. I don't want to be disliked by these people offline anymore for reasons I can't even see. It's so frustrating and unfair, to both me and the people I deal with. However, maybe it's also not as bad as I think, and even if I act strange, I don't want to lose chances of friendship with people who don't mind my weirdness. Also, it may be me projecting my fears on other people to some extent as well, and those who do act upset with me affirm those beliefs.