I have a quite recent friend who wants to be loved by everyone and asks me constantly why no one likes her. She is quite obviously autistic, and I tell her that us spectrum people are simply not liked. She doesn't get it. She wonders what to do different, like she can change something minor or a set of details and that would change everything. I try not to be too brutal but say in a nice way that really cannot be expected.

So why are we not liked? I think the MAIN thing is that we're simply TOO MUCH WORK. We're not easy going, we do not radiate energy at people. They have to invest energy in us and they do not like it. People like when they can talk to you and you react in a predictable way. That means, the more normal you are, the more popular you are. Being popular has less to do with kindness. People do not like when they have to invest energy to understand you.

I try to convince my friend it is not NEEDED to be liked by everyone. I think she should put more effort into her friends and less in strangers. But she is very sensitive and cries because she is not liked. Being gloomy does not make her MORE popular, it really scares people away.