It sounds like your bf is suffering from past traumas and unfortunately you are getting the brunt of it. His sergeant knows what is going on. He could tell.

I am concerned for your safety. I cannot advise you but am deeply moved by the story you tell. When I face a situation like this I go inside and get in touch with my inner self. It might tell you to go away or face it. No one can tell you what is the lesson here for you.

If you need someone to listen, feel free to private message, but what I always do to protect my anonymity is to log out when I are through with your Psych Central session so no one can peer into your private anonymous life here at Psych Central. For me it is a refuge.