1. There are times when I don't want to fight my depression, I don't feel like helping myself, like I'm not worth saving and so on... This is me, most of the time.

2. and there are other times when I'm determined to not let my depression get the better of me, and also to help other people with their depression. I feel like this is the first step to fighting depression.

The ratio of 1 to 2 is like 80% to 20%, i'd like to change this, I'd like to be (2) most of the time, and I'm trying to force some change by being positive. Sometimes I can switch from 1 to 2 and back in a few minutes, and it's very frustrating.

can anybody relate to this? Thanks.