(((DREAMRUNNER))). I am very sorry that you are struggling at this time. You just have to take everyday as it comes. If your therapist is not aware that you SI then you are not going to get the help you need and deserve. If this is not quite the forum you need there are other forums such as Depression or Bipolar that may not be as triggering for you at this time. Just because this is the SI forum does not mean if this forum is your trigger then you have to go to this particular Forum. You are more than welcome to get help in the other /Forums as well. There is also a chat daily that has been helpful to many that SI so you can talk and be heard and feel understood. Psych Central is a valuable tool in recovery and I hope in time you think so as well. You are welcome to discuss your SI in chat is needed, there is a support room available as well when you need supportive help in the future. I am glad to see you reaching out for help and support that you need for your disorder and your mental health. It is good to have you here at Psych Central. Take care of yourself. Soidhonia