I guess I didn't say very clearly what I meant.

Yeah I get mad at myself for things. Like if I feel guilty about something, I want to cut really bad. Or if I just start thinking I'm a bad person overall, or worthless, or unloveable or anything bad about myself, I want to hurt myself.

But I learned that the response of hurting myself comes from my past. That's what I meant. Not mad about my past, but the past has shaped me to direct anger at myself and to hurt myself to take my feelings out on myself.

The best way I have found to deal with this type of si urge is to write down how mad I am or tear up the paper in my journal (by pressing on it with my pen and then just ripping). Or sometimes just by telling someone supportive how much I hate myself, because they will usually help me put things in perspective and remind me to have compassion on myself.

I admit this is still a downfall for me. I still cut over this stuff occasionally. I won't be totally healed and done with it until I have healed from the underlying issues. But these are some of things that help me get through day to day with less si.

Hope that helps!

Angela