I hate not being secure. It makes me feel insane. I go back and forth between feeling hurt he canceled and feeling like a jerk because he had a family emergency. Its really new to feel such strong emotions in general but definitely for another person. I’ve never got close enough to someone to care if they left or not. Its kind of scary. Distress management sounds like a good idea. I could use more coping skills. I tend to forget them when I need them.

I saw a video about attachment that really rang true for me. He talked about being stuck between wanting to go towards the parent thats abusing you for comfort but wanting to get away from them at the same time. And how theres no solution. Its kind of how I feel about my T at the moment. Not the abusing part but wanting safety and wanting to run