The tendency to be impulsive, defensive, short-tempered...could easily be ADD symptoms but your friend could also just have those personality traits. It is difficult to say. But you are not ridiculous to notice the pattern or be concerned about what this means for your relationship. I find it particularly disturbing that she makes the comments about you using your Mom's illness as an excuse. I have to wonder if she is projecting her own fears that others may see her using ADD...her own illness as an excuse for something? One way to sort this is to set a boundary in which you simply do not engage her when she behaves in certain ways. For instance if she makes hurtful comments or continues to be argumentative when you have issued a truce or time-out...you disengage. The consistency of behavior modification tactics such as the aforementioned boundary setting may help things to sort themselves out. As in any relationship you have to be clear with yourself what behaviors you are willing to tolerate.

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