It's not a stupid question. I'm not sure how well I can answer it though.

It's my understanding that with borderline personality disorder, people tend to "react" to feelings of hurt, abandonment etc.... often pushing away the very person or people they want to keep "closer" to them.

With Avoidant Personality, people usually but not always keep the hurt inside. But I've read about the "hostility" associated with Avoidant PD so I'm not sure.....

I hope Rapunzel or someone else will come along later and reply with a more "helpful" reply!