You're playing with fire, and you know it. Otherwise, you would not be concerned about being treated as a child if you informed your doctors of your conduct.

The dose of ibuprofen that you are consuming could lead to fatal gastric hemorrhage, or stroke. The high doses of the antidepressant and anxiolytic provoke enhanced acute effects, as well as severe withdrawal reactions. You place yourself at risk of some of the most severe but rare side-effects, such as fatal heart arrhythmia.

But all this is beside the point, isn't it. You're using the medications for symptoms they were not intended to treat. Ibuprofen is not meant to treat severe pain. Ativan is not meant to control "brain hum". Antidepressants are not meant as an acute supportive agent in the treatment of "bad spaces". If you insist on using wrenches as hammers, don't be too surprised if the tools don't work as you thought they might.

You also have taken pains to forestall reasonable criticisms of your conduct. The advice you have received is NOT like telling someone depressed to cheer up. You need to honestly discuss your symptoms and your conduct with your doctors, or you will continue to have less than stellar outcomes. If you keep on doing what you always did, you'll keep on getting what you always got.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.