Quote:
Originally Posted by rr13
I think we've all been expecting something like this to happen. None of us expected him to outlive my parents, but it's still a shock that it's actually happening. I'm trying not to feel guilty for not feeling sad about losing a brother because I never had a brother. It's like feeling sad about an acquaintance you hear that's dying, not a sibling. Of course I don't know how I'll actually feel once he's gone, and I've never even been to a funeral before, so that will be weird. I feel like not many people will even show up. He didn't have many friends. He used people to get what he needed and then dropped them.
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I'm sorry you will have this change in your life whether you like it or not (not controllable by you at all, what your parents will do, if they'll turn to you and try to use you to help themselves, for example).
My brother-in-law sounds a bit like your brother (alcoholic, had a liver transplant but kept drinking; owned a bar and borrowed/wasted some of my parents money (they did put in their will that he would still owe it if my stepsister died first; my brothers and I forgave the debt for my stepsister when my stepmother (her mother) died so she'd get all her inheritance).
The funeral was interesting; his daughter-in-law's mother commented that it was the first funeral she'd been to where there were no tears and people were actually glad/relieved that the person had died (he was a general SOB, never had a pleasant word to say, put people down, was emotionally abusive to my stepsister, etc.).