Quote:
Originally Posted by Humpty Dumpty
Pink - I have not tried to kill myself. I can't really say why. I have really wanted to twice. If I attempted I would have succeeded, which is part of the reason I didn't attempt the 2nd time because I wasn't 100% sure it would work.
As far as the stages go Planning and Acquiring go hand and hand. My plans have always involved the means that I have at my disposal.
At this point I don't want to kill myself. I do wish I could die, but I don't want to kill myself. I am often envious when I hear about others that die. For example the shooting in TN I wonder why do they get to be the lucky ones?
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I can definitely relate to those feelings. I think it's an important thing to note that while you may want to die, you do not want to kill yourself. That's a significant difference. And if your mental health providers aren't listening and understanding, I can see how they would react. So part of that may take a little bit of patience on your end (unfortunately) to be able to articulate that so they understand. Sometimes that takes having already built some trust/rapport with the therapist.
Don't agree to staying safe longer than you really feel like you can. Sometimes it may be a day -- sometimes more. Sometimes less. And then the plan becomes - ok, you agree to stay safe until you return here in the morning. We can think about after that tomorrow...but until then, what can you do to stay safe? And if you really begin to feel that you can't stay safe - what are you willing to do?
Hope that makes sense.
