Good to know you are working with a therapist. Please do tell her about what you are thinking...infact, it would be a good idea to take a print out of all that you have typed here and show it to her.

My mother had a rough childhood too. She never received any love from anyone, despite living in a family of 6 people. Though, she has done a lot for us, I feel that she failed to love us unconditionally and most times is emotionally unavailable. Her life and our life is completely disconnected.

If I tell her all this, it's not because I want to blame her or want her to feel bad, it's an opportunity to work on a problem and if everyone involved looked at it as a problem, rather than character assassination, then we can work towards a solution.

I think you should let everyone in your family know what you are going through. You've had a very traumatic childhood and instead of feeling that you've failed, why not just think that your traumatic childhood wounds, unhealed, is causing a little problem. Again, when someone points out a flaw, it's a reflection of something you do and not someone you are. It's okay to not be perfect - you have worked a lot and you should be very proud of that and NO ONE can take that away from you.

It's entirely possible that you're daughter is wrong...your therapist may have a better understanding.

But anyway, it's an opportunity to do something better - add cherry and pretty icing on your cake and not change the whole cake. Right now, just focus on you and your needs for a little time. Do something nice for yourself everyday - every Sunday indulge yourself a little.