I am thinking of you, fuzzy, as I relate to what you've posted here re-forgiveness. The hardest thing for me is to forgive myself, as I take the blame even if it's not my fault, feeling I should have been more discerning and smarter than to get into hurtful situations. So....working on forgiving myself is the only challenge I've ever dealt with in my rather long existence. I've never felt the need to work at forgiving someone else, and once I've faced my own responsibility in it (even if I was a victim), the self-forgiveness evolves slowly. It IS a very slow process, and I also go to my "cave" frequently. I'm talking years....to achieve this, though wishing all the while there was a rapid "fix." There isn't! But once time and work has achieved self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, I am able to move on. Wishing the same for you, dear!
Patty