Thank you so much - wanttoheal and SongBirdandDaisy. I appreciate your reply's.

I am so scared - I was very very shut down for a long long time. Just oblivious to the world around me. Know I am having alot of things come up and I don't like it. I don't know what T thinks or knows - he is pretty good at picking up on things and I wonder if he would tell me. I am not going to ask and he knows this - last week when I went in he told me to pick the topic and I was like I can't ever make my mind up. He waited to I picked the topic. I keep trying to figure out what we are doing. This sucks!!!!! Can I just go dig a hole and never come out!!!!

Does any of this even make sense - I know what I am trying to say but I am not saying it very well. Sorry if this is confusing.

Again Thank you so much for replying!