(((Esthersvirtue))) I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I had this conversation with T. We talk rather he talks about talking about the memories - I so wanted them not to be real, maybe I am confused or wrong. But sadly no - they are real. I keep thinking about quitting therapy because I don't want these problems or issues or feelings, but they will keep coming up. They did before and I went to therapy for a little bit - childhood and memories etc were off limits, just tell me how to handle the following symtoms and I will be fine. I put them away for several years, but they are back and the symtoms are back and also everything I have done the last few years have been based on what has happened in the past. I couldn't beleive it when a year ago I realized althought circumstances and people were different I was in the exact same place I was 12 years prior. It is hard. Hang in there. If you want to chat more let me know.